"Hurry up Manu" shouted Jason let go. "Tell/Ask your sister and your brothers if they want to come" Manu went and knocked on their doors. "Who's there?" "it's me Manu, do you guys want to come to the park A/and play with us?" Then they said "yes we will come." So they got up and got chanh/changed and washed their faces.
Asipeli, it is good to see you having a go here. You really need to develop the story in the time you have to write though. You need to focus more with the structure - Setting, Problem, Solution.
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